Did I mention I like food?

It's funny because some people who slag off my book on the internet complain that the main character  goes on and on about food.

Well, like yes.  It says it's a book about food on the cover.

And if you don't like food, maybe you could go read some light S&M porn instead?  Maybe I'll just write Fifty Shades of Gravy next time and kill two birds with one stone.

However if you are a person who does enjoy food, here are some pictures of things I have recently eaten, mostly in Italy - including some vegetables:

Perfect peas:

Artichokes:

Bruschetta - so totally simple but perfect - fresh tomato, a tiny bit of basil, olive oil, warm bread...

An 8.5 out of 10 millefeuille - not quite enough layers for my liking but yummy nonetheless:

Ah.  This is where I started using an iPhone to take photos and the food looks quite anaemic.  Oh well.  Trust me, it ate in technicolour.

This, however, was probably the best thing I've eaten since the bacon pastry.  Gutted it looks so wishy-washy in this picture...

and also in this one:

Even en masse you can't really appreciate the awesome-ness..

Let's just say that after I ate one of these bad boys,  I ordered 12 on the spot.  Ok: it was small; a miniature profiterole stuffed with the most dense, lush, heavy, thick, creamy pistachio custard, and topped with pistachio cream and pistachios.  And believe me when I say that I can normally turn my back on a pistachio, if necessary.  It's not like they're cashews.  And profiteroles / pro-shmitteroles - you know I'm all about the brownies.

There was just something stupidly magical about the combination / size / texture / weight / density of the cream, that stopped me in my tracks.  I would even go so far as to say that I would plan an entire week's holiday around this one bakery in Locri, in Calabria.  Of course I have forgotten the name of it but if anyone is going anywhere near Calabria, twitter me or whatever, and I'll ask my friend to remember the name for you.

Finally I shall leave you with one very British treat that I didn't get round to posting last month - this blue Battenburg that I ate at the Chelsea Flower Show, la di da.

It didn't taste brilliant but I admired the concept nonetheless.  Right, off to write some soft porn and make my fortune...