Pear-shaped and ginger cake...

I'm nothing if not pear-shaped.

Well actually that's not true.  I am under-the-weather and pear-shaped. Under-the-weather, contrary and pear-shaped.

I have a tedious heavy cold which means I can't taste much - so I'm baking an extremely fattening cake that I'll barely be able to enjoy the flavour of, just because I like to do things that are not very smart. And also I wanted to use my new toy! A mini food processor someone gave me for my birthday last month that is just super dinky and cute.  (A bit like these photos that I've taken on a borrowed iPhone and don't quite understand how to make bigger...No matter.)

It's in the oven now and I am scared.  Basically I have screwed with this Rose Prince recipe  in most ways, and I don't think I'll get away with it.  In fact right now the cake is threatening to spill molten black treacle all over the bottom of my non-self-cleaning oven...

The pear part was fine - William Pears, one of the finest pears in town as I'm sure you'll agree.

But then I used the wrong type of sugar - it said soft brown, and in fact I used up two half empty packets of light and brown muscovados - neither of which are on brief...

Then I decided to use almonds that have been in my cupboard since my book launch - so maybe 6 months out of date...and a third of an old packet from Tesco.  But realised I was still 16g short of the 270g requirement.

So I just added a bit more flour, which is never a good idea.  And then there's my ginger.  My ginger is so very out of date.  (Like Susie in Leftovers I really don't hold much truck with these alleged use bys.  Just use your nose as your guide and you can't go wrong.)

Still, 2008 was a vintage year for powdered ginger, so let's not worry about that... Regardless, it did still look quite pretty at this stage.

But then I started heating the golden syrup, sugars and treacle and it all went a little volcanic (like what it's doing right now in my oven, that I'm too scared to check on again.)

Right.  Five minutes to go...Oh god! And I forgot to mention the eggs.  One of the eggs was two weeks out of date, but again, it smelled fine and if you can't trust your nose, what can you trust?  Oh.  Bugger. I can't trust my nose at all today...Hmm, this does not bode well...

Ok, so far, so ok.  It's too wobbly at 50 minutes but it looks and smells quite pleasing, in as much as it doesn't smell of salmonella.

Ok.  Now we wait...

Right, well I've worked out how to take bigger photos at least...

The pears must have slipped around when the colossal Vesuvius of buttery treacle rained down upon them.  Up close the texture looks like it's going to be awesome - crumbly, sticky, with a little crunch on top...

Desperate to eat it but have to eat some crazy pasta first...

I'm back.  Ok, it's good.

Beautiful moist texture due to the world of almonds that are in it, and a crisp, crunchy, caramelised chewy bottom.  Could do with more ginger heat though that'll be the 5 years out of date ginger...  Still, nothing a dollop of sour cream can't fix.